People Place Story - How to Communicate with Impact

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Welcome to another episode of People Play Story, where we delve into the art of storytelling and impactful communication. Today, we explore the fascinating concept of the 'hidden language' of communication, inspired by my book, People Play Story. This episode is generated with the help of AI, based on a chapter from my book.

Have you ever felt like your presentation bombed despite knowing your material inside out? Or perhaps your ideas just didn't connect in a conversation? We discuss how communication is more than just words; it's about the visual, vocal, and verbal cues that we often overlook. Discover the '3 V's' of communication: visual, vocal, and verbal, and how they play a crucial role in how we convey our messages.

We dive into the importance of vocal elements like tone, pace, and prosody, and how they can change the meaning of our words. Learn about the science behind why our voice sounds different to us and how mastering breath control can enhance our vocal delivery. We also touch on the psychological benefits of deep breathing and how it can help manage stress.

Explore practical techniques like the 'power stance breath' to project confidence and authority in your voice. We also tackle the common issue of filler words, or 'vocal crutches,' and how becoming aware of them can transform your communication skills. Embrace the power of pauses and silence to become a more effective communicator.

Join us as we uncover the keys to mastering unspoken communication, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and connection with your audience. Remember, communication is more than just words; it's about connecting with others on a deeper level. Thank you for tuning in, and keep practicing these techniques to enhance your communication skills. Your voice matters!

[00:00:08] Martin Kloss:

Hi, and welcome to People Play Story, a podcast about storytelling   and how to communicate with impact.   My name is Martin Kloss, and I'm a professional story coach and speaker trainer.   I recently wrote a book. It's called People Play Story,   but it's only available in German for now. So to help me reach a wider audience and spread the word about the power of stories,   I created this podcast.   Full disclosure, what you're about to hear is generated by an AI,   courtesy of Google's notebook LM.   And each episode is based on a different chapter of my book.   I hope you enjoy it and that I can give you something to think about today. Have fun.  



[00:00:53] Unknown:

Ever, like, completely bomb a presentation  

[00:00:57] Unknown:

even when you, you know, knew the material, like, the back to your hand. Yeah. I've been there. Or maybe you felt like your ideas were, well, just not connecting in a conversation. Like, something was off. Yes.  

[00:01:08] Unknown:

Exactly.  

[00:01:09] Unknown:

It's so frustrating. It's like there's this hidden language we're all speaking  

[00:01:13] Unknown:

even when we're not saying a word. Okay. Now you have to tell me more about this hidden language. I actually have a copy of People Play Story right here by Martin Kloss. Oh, nice. Communication expert. I figured he might have some answers. He is a fantastic guide for this kind of thing. Yeah. He actually argues  

[00:01:29] Unknown:

that most of us, we focus way too much on the words we use and miss the the bigger picture of communication. Okay. So what is this bigger picture he's talking about? So Kloss, he breaks it down with what he calls the 3 v's. 3 v's. Visual,   vocal, and verbal.   So we've got the visual. What about the vocal aspect? The vocal well, that's all about your voice. Okay. And not just what you say, but how you say it. Mhmm. So your tone,   your pace,   even those umms and ahs, they can reveal a lot more than we think. It's like when someone says I'm fine, but you can tell by their tone they're definitely not fine. Exactly. We instinctively pick up on those subtle vocal cues. Yes.  

[00:02:11] Unknown:

I think it's amazing how much we can tell by someone's tone. Right? Yeah. So if you think about, like, that's great news. You could say that in a lot of different ways. Yeah. You could say it sarcastically.  

[00:02:21] Unknown:

You could say it like you mean it. Exactly. You could say it like you don't mean it. Exactly. And that's prosody. Prosody. Okay. Yeah. So it's that rhythm, that pitch   where we're putting emphasis on words. It's like all the things that we try to do when we're texting to, like, get the message across. Yeah. Like, oh, I meant that sarcastically. But you can't hear it. Right. You need to hear it. And so that's why things get lost sometimes too in translation because you're not hearing that tone.  

[00:02:45] Unknown:

It's not just about not being misunderstood, but it's what makes   a speech captivating. It's what makes a joke land. It's all those little things that draw us in. Yeah.   You know that thing where you listen to a recording, you're like, wait. That's me? Oh, yeah. The dreaded voice memo. The worst. Like, my voice sounds so different in my head. Why is that?  

[00:03:05] Unknown:

It's because   we're hearing ourselves through both air conduction and bone conduction,  

[00:03:11] Unknown:

and that actually changes how we perceive those frequencies. So it's like 2 different sound systems playing at the same time. Exactly. And our brain is trying to blend them together. Wow. But Klas doesn't stop there. He goes on about breath control   using our diaphragms. Like, babies are apparently naturals at this, but we kinda lose it as we get older. We do. So we have to relearn how to breathe. In a way, yeah. And Kloss actually gives some great exercises for this to retrain our diaphragms. He even links it to, like, psychology and stuff. Like,  

[00:03:42] Unknown:

learning to breathe deeply can help with stress management and just feeling better overall. So it's not just about sounding better. It's about feeling better.  

[00:03:50] Unknown:

Totally. Okay. So how do we fix that? How do we master this whole, like, unspoken language?  

[00:03:56] Unknown:

The diaphragm. So he explains that when your diaphragm is tense, which happens when we're stressed,   we tend to breathe more shallowly. Okay. That leads to a weaker voice,  

[00:04:06] Unknown:

and it can even lead to that that high pitched kind of nervous sound. Oh, yes. Yeah. That's my specialty. Like, right before I'm about to go on stage or something, my voice gets all high. It's that fight or flight. Yeah. Exactly. Your body's like, oh, no. It's kicking in at the worst time. But good news is  

[00:04:22] Unknown:

we can train our diaphragm   just like any other muscle.  

[00:04:26] Unknown:

Project this calmer, more authoritative tone. So you're saying I can get rid of my nervous voice and sound more confident.  

[00:04:34] Unknown:

This is why I love deep dives. Pure gold. Okay. What about those little filler words we all use?   Like Oh, gosh. I'm the queen of, Kloss calls them, like, vocal crutches.   He says they come from this fear of silence.   Interesting. Yeah. Like, we feel this need to fill every little gap even if it's just with sounds that don't mean anything. It's true. I never thought of it like that. But the ironic thing is those filler words actually make you sound less confident,  

[00:04:59] Unknown:

not more. It's like we're afraid of letting the silence speak for itself.  

[00:05:04] Unknown:

Yes.   And that's where the power of the clause comes in. Kloss actually talks about how silence can be incredibly effective. You know, you can gather your thoughts. You can emphasize a point, create a little anticipation. It's like those dramatic pauses in movies. They always get you. Yeah. Okay. So learning how to control those Right. Another key to mastering the unspoken? Yes. And the first step is just being aware of it. Okay. How do we put it all into practice? Well, Kloss provides a lot of practical advice, so let's dive into some of the techniques. Yes. Let's do it. He recommends for mastering things like your voice, even those pesky umms and ahs. Let's get rid of them. I'm ready. So he has this exercise. He calls it the power stance breath. Okay. Power stance breath. I like it already. It's amazing how just changing your posture and taking a few deep breaths can just, like, instantly calm your nerves and actually make your voice sound a lot stronger. Okay. I'm gonna need a demonstration here. What is the power stance? Okay. So imagine you're you're like a superhero Okay. About to save the day. Love it. So you're standing tall, feet, like, shoulder width apart,   shoulders back, chin lifted. Okay.  

And you're gonna breathe in slowly through your nose   and feel your diaphragm expand, not just your chest. Okay. Hold it for a beat, then you exhale slowly through your mouth. Okay.  

[00:06:21] Unknown:

I'm already feeling more powerful, and I think I think my voice does sound different, fuller.  

[00:06:26] Unknown:

It's incredible. Right? Yeah. What a difference it makes. Yeah. He suggests practicing this power stance breath regularly and not just before, like, a big presentation or something. Right. Because it trains your diaphragm. It builds your your vocal stamina. So that when that fight or flight kicks in Exactly. I can, like, combat it. You're ready.  

[00:06:44] Unknown:

Okay. So what about the, like, umms and ahs,   the bane of my existence? The filler words. Of fillers.  

[00:06:52] Unknown:

So he suggests,   first, just becoming aware of it. Like, record yourself speaking Oh, no.  

[00:06:59] Unknown:

And just listen. Oh, that's painful.   Nobody wants to listen to that. But you'd be surprised how many people like, they just don't realize. Yeah. I mean, you don't you don't know until  

[00:07:10] Unknown:

you know? Exactly. How often you're doing it. And then once you're aware of it Right. Then you can start to replace those those filler words with pauses. Pauses. So, like, just being silent. Just like, ah, silent.   Yeah. It might feel awkward at first Yeah. But it can actually make you a more powerful communicator   Yeah. Because it gives the audience time to process what you said, and it makes you sound more thoughtful, more deliberate. It's like they say, silence is golden  

[00:07:35] Unknown:

or something like that. Exactly.   So it's not just about, like, memorizing a script. It's bigger than that. So much bigger than that. It's about connecting with the audience. Authenticity.   Being present.   Okay. So what's the the key takeaway? What do we want our listeners to remember from all of this? It really boils down to this communication.  

[00:07:54] Unknown:

It's about   so much more than just words. Mastering our voices and and really understanding these subtle cues  

[00:08:01] Unknown:

because they can they can make or break our message. And the best part is What's that? Anybody can learn it. That's good news. I thought you were gonna say not everyone can do it, only special people. Nope. Just takes awareness and practice. That I can do. I can practice.   Okay. Well, this has been an incredible   deep dive into this whole world of unspoken communication. Huge thanks to Martin Kloss for giving us the tools to decode it all. He's brilliant. And to our listeners, thank you for joining us on this journey. Keep exploring these ideas, keep practicing, and remember,   your voice matters.  



[00:08:43] Martin Kloss:

Hi, everyone. It's me again. Just a quick note before I let you go. I hope you found today's episode entertaining,   engaging, and maybe even inspiring.   If you did, please spread the word. And if you didn't, please keep it to yourself.   And if you wanna know more, have any questions,   or wanna work with me, please get in touch with me on martinklaus.com   or on LinkedIn.   Now have a great day. Go out and do something fun.