In this episode of People Play Story, we delve into the common yet daunting experience of stage fright. Martin Kloss, a professional story coach and speaker trainer, shares insights from his book, "People Play Story," to help listeners understand and conquer the nerves that come with public speaking. We explore the biological roots of stage fright, tracing it back to our caveman ancestors, and discuss how our bodies react to perceived threats even in modern settings.
Martin introduces practical strategies to transform nervous energy into excitement, drawing parallels between professional athletes and individuals with stage fright. He emphasizes the importance of reframing our mental approach to these sensations and offers techniques like the "double out" breathing method to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body's stress response.
The episode also highlights the mental game of public speaking, focusing on the power of positive inner dialogue and visualization to boost confidence. Martin discusses the role of self-compassion and vulnerability in overcoming self-doubt, encouraging listeners to embrace their imperfections and connect authentically with their audience.
Listeners are encouraged to practice these techniques, embrace their unique voices, and take small steps towards transforming stage fright into a powerful tool for effective communication.
Hi, and welcome to People Play Story, a podcast about storytelling and how to communicate with impact. My name is Martin Kloss, and I'm a professional story coach and speaker trainer. I recently wrote a book. It's called People Play Story, but it's only available in German for now. So to help me reach a wider audience and spread the word about the power of stories, I created this podcast. Full disclosure, what you're about to hear is generated by an AI, courtesy of Google's notebook LM. And each episode is based on a different chapter of my book. I hope you enjoy it and that I can give you something to think about today.
Have fun.
[00:00:53] Unknown:
You ever get that feeling Mhmm. Right before, like, a big presentation Yeah. And, you know, your stomach starts doing flips, and your palms are like a slip and slide, and there's this voice in your head just going, abort. Abort. Mhmm. You know, we are diving deep into all of that today. That feeling. Yeah. Stage fright. Yeah. And even better, we're gonna give you some, actual strategies that you can use to, like, not just cope, but really conquer those nerves. Okay. So if you've ever felt like your inner caveman was, like, hijacking your brain whenever it was your turn to speak up Right. This deep dive is for you. Yeah. And you know what's so interesting about this? This fear of public speaking, it's, like, unbelievably common. Really? And there's a really fascinating, like, biological reason for it. So
[00:01:35] Unknown:
way back in, like, you know, the caveman days, being the center of attention,
[00:01:39] Unknown:
it could actually mean, like, you were about to be lunch. Okay. So it's not just me. No. It's my inner caveman freaking out about a PowerPoint. Exactly. Okay. I'm already feeling a little bit better knowing that. It's like our brains are still wired to interpret certain situations
[00:01:54] Unknown:
being in front of a crowd as a threat Right. Even when there's no, like, saber tooth tiger about to pounce on us. Mhmm. The thing is, our body reacts the exact same way. Like, your heart's racing. Your palms get sweaty. You get that, like, urge to just run away. It's all your body's way of, like, prepping you for fire flight Right. Whether the danger is real or just you perceive it to be that way. That makes a lot of sense. But, like, why is it that some people just seem to, like, totally rock a presentation Yeah. And other people like me just practically turn to stone? It really all comes down to how we each interpret those physical sensations.
[00:02:29] Unknown:
Okay. So there was this fascinating study, and they were comparing professional athletes right before a big game to people with severe stage fright right before a presentation. They had the same physiological responses. So increased heart rates, stress hormones are elevated,
[00:02:44] Unknown:
the whole nine yards. So everybody's freaking out on the inside that some of us are just better at hiding it? Not quite. So the athletes,
[00:02:52] Unknown:
they viewed all those sensations as excitement. Okay. Like, it was this positive energy that was gonna help fuel their performance. Okay. The people with stage fright, they saw those exact same sensations as fear and anxiety. So it's the same physical experience, but a totally different, like, mental game. You know? Wow. So that's a really important takeaway. It's not about, like, eliminating the feeling. It's about changing how we relate to it. Okay. That's actually that's gonna blow my mind a little bit. So Mhmm. If we can convince our brains that those butterflies are actually, like, a good sign, we're good to go. You're getting it.
[00:03:26] Unknown:
And there are some practical techniques that we can use to actually make that happen. So because our bodies are kinda stuck in that fight mode when we're nervous, we need to find ways to, like, trick them back into relax mode. Okay. So how do we do this tricking of the system? Like, what's the what's the secret? Well, believe it or not, one of the most powerful tools is something that we do all the time without even thinking about it, breathing. Okay. And, no, I don't mean just taking, like, a deep breath and hoping for the best. Oh, man. Right. Because I've definitely tried that one. And it usually doesn't do a whole lot for a full blown case of the nerves. Well, it's a little bit more nuanced than that. So we have this system in our bodies. It's called the parasympathetic nervous system.
And you can think of it as like the rest and digest system, the opposite of fight or flight. Okay. I'm liking the sound of this rest and digest system already, but how do we,
[00:04:15] Unknown:
like, activate it? Is this something I can do while I'm pretending to listen to my boss's presentation? You're gonna love this. Deep, slow
[00:04:23] Unknown:
exhalations. Oh, okay. They're like a magic button for the parasympathetic nervous system. Wow. And they just put the brakes on that stress response. There's a super effective technique that's called the double out technique. Okay. That sounds way more intriguing than just breathe deeply. I'm all ears. Tell me everything. Okay. It's really simple. Okay. And you can, like, practice it anywhere. You inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four to five seconds. Okay. Hold your breath for one or two seconds. Okay. And then you exhale really slowly through your mouth for a count of eight to ten seconds.
[00:04:56] Unknown:
Okay. Hence, the double out. Oh, I see. So I'm basically, like, hacking my nervous system just by focusing on my breath. Yeah. That's kinda brilliant. It is. I'm definitely trying this next time I'm, like, feeling anxious. Yeah. What if I need, like, a quick fix, though? Yeah. Like, right before I'm about to go on stage? What if I don't have time to, like, think about my breath? There's actually a really cool acupressure point on your hand k. That can help, like, alleviate anxiety almost instantly.
[00:05:22] Unknown:
No way. Yeah. Okay. So you take your left index finger, and you're gonna pinch the area right below the base of the nail Right. On the side closer to your thumb Okay. With your right thumb and index finger. Okay. You just hold that for about twenty seconds Mhmm. While you're breathing deeply. Okay. And you should start to feel calmer. Okay. This is like a superpower.
[00:05:43] Unknown:
I know. I'm adding this to my pre presentation routine immediately. Yes. Okay. So we've been talking a lot about, like, the physical side of things. Yeah. But what about, like, the mental game? Right. How do we actually convince our minds
[00:05:58] Unknown:
that those butterflies are, like, a good thing? Because it's easy to say, like, think positive. Yeah. But, like, how do we actually do that when that inner critic is, like, screaming at us? Right. That's where the power of reframing comes in. Mhmm. Remember how we were talking about those athletes that viewed their physical responses as, like, this positive energy? Right. We can actually train our brains to do the same thing. Wow. So instead of thinking, Try shifting your inner dialogue to, this is exciting. I'm energized and ready to share this. So it's like we're giving those negative thoughts like a new script Exactly. A more, like, empowering soundtrack or something. Yeah. And it's not even just about, like, silencing the negative. It's about replacing it with something positive Right. And empowering. Okay. And then you can take that a step further by mentally rehearsing a successful presentation. Okay. Imagine yourself, You're delivering the content with confidence. The audience is engaged.
Everything's going smoothly. This visualizing success can actually trick your brain into feeling more confident and in control.
[00:07:02] Unknown:
I am all about tricking my brain into feeling more confident. Right. This is great stuff. Good. But let's be real. Yeah. Sometimes things don't go exactly according to plan. Right? Right. What happens when those, like, self doubts, like, creep back in Yeah. Even when we're, like, trying our best to stay positive. Yeah. That's where self compassion becomes so essential. Okay. Think about it. Would you ever be
[00:07:26] Unknown:
as harsh and critical of a friend as you are to yourself? Probably not. I mean, I'd like to think I'm a good friend. Exactly. Yeah. We're often our own worst critics. Mhmm. Practice treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to someone you care about. Okay. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. It's part of being human.
[00:07:45] Unknown:
That's true. Yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So much of the time, we are holding ourselves to these, like, impossible standards. Yes. It's about, like, cutting ourselves some slack For sure. And just realizing that we're doing, like, the best that we can in that moment. Right? Absolutely. Okay. And this kinda ties into a concept that might seem a little bit counterintuitive,
[00:08:06] Unknown:
especially when we're talking about, like, public speaking or leadership. Mhmm. Vulner wait. Vulnerability?
[00:08:13] Unknown:
Yeah. For a long time, vulnerability was seen as, like, a weakness. Mhmm. Something to be avoided at all costs Right. Especially in the workplace. Right. But more and more research is actually showing that it can be an incredible strength, particularly in leadership. Okay. I'm really intrigued. Tell me more about this, like, unexpected power of vulnerability.
[00:08:34] Unknown:
Well, think about it. When someone admits that they made a mistake or shows, like, their human side Mhmm. Doesn't that make them more relatable, more trustworthy?
[00:08:43] Unknown:
That totally does. It's like they're not afraid to be themselves flaws and all, and that makes them seem so much more authentic and approachable. Yes. And I know when someone is genuine like that, I'm way more likely to actually listen to what they have to say. You're hitting on something really important. Okay. Authenticity
[00:08:59] Unknown:
is key. Okay. And it's directly tied to vulnerability. Alright. And studies have shown that this is not just like some feel good notion. When leaders admit mistakes, it actually increases respect and connection with their team. Wow. People are more likely to trust and follow someone who is willing to be real with them.
[00:09:19] Unknown:
That's true. So let me get this straight. Yeah. By being open and honest about our struggles Mhmm. Even like our failures.
[00:09:26] Unknown:
Yeah.
[00:09:27] Unknown:
We can actually become more effective leaders.
[00:09:30] Unknown:
Absolutely. That's wild. It definitely takes, like, a conscious effort to shift that mindset. Yeah. Because we're so conditioned to believe that, like, showing weakness is a bad thing. Right. But, really, it's what makes us human. Right. And when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable Yeah. We create the space for, like, genuine connection and trust Okay. Both with ourselves and with other people. Okay. And that's where true confidence comes from. Not from pretending to be perfect, but from accepting ourselves imperfections at all. It's like that saying, perfect is the enemy of good. Yes.
[00:10:01] Unknown:
When we get so caught up in trying to be perfect Right. We hold ourselves back from taking risks and, like, Being our true selves. Being our true selves. Exactly. And isn't that really what people are drawn to? Absolutely. Authenticity.
[00:10:14] Unknown:
Right? And that fear of, like, not being good enough. Right. That's often what, like, fuels those feelings of stage fright in the first place. Totally. But here's the thing. Okay. When we approach our presentations and our meetings, even our everyday interactions with that spirit of authenticity and vulnerability
[00:10:32] Unknown:
Mhmm. It lets us connect with people on a much deeper level. Right. And that connection can be incredibly empowering. I love that. Yeah. It's been so eye opening. As we wrap up our deep dive into conquering stage fright Yes. What are some, like, key takeaways Yeah. That our listeners can start using today?
[00:10:49] Unknown:
Yeah. The first thing is to remember is that those nervous feelings are totally normal. Yeah. Everybody experiences them. Good. In fact, they can actually be helpful Oh. Because it's your body's way of, like, preparing you to rise to the occasion. Mhmm. The key is to reframe those sensations as excitement. Yes. And use those physical techniques that we talked about, like the double out breathing to kinda, like, calm your nervous system down. Don't forget those mental game changers. Yes. Visualize yourself like rocking that presentation.
[00:11:20] Unknown:
Yeah. Silence those negative thoughts with a more empowering inner dialogue, and remember that you are capable and worthy just as you are. Love that. Any last words of wisdom before we sign off?
[00:11:32] Unknown:
If those self doubts creep in, just remember to practice self compassion. Yeah. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would a friend. Uh-huh. And never forget, vulnerability is not a weakness. It's a superpower. I love it. When we show up authentically Yeah. We create space for genuine connection.
[00:11:49] Unknown:
We build trust. So good. Yeah. So embrace those butterflies, transform them into excitement, and get out there and share your unique voice with the world. Yes. You got this. And listeners, what's one small step you can take today to put these techniques into practice? Good question. Maybe it's trying out the double out breathing or challenging challenging a negative thought. Every journey begins with a single step. So choose courage over comfort and see what you can achieve.
[00:12:17] Unknown:
Love that. Thanks for joining us for another deep dive, and we'll see you next time.
[00:12:29] Martin Kloss:
Hi, everyone. It's me again. Just a quick note before I let you go. I hope you found today's episode entertaining, engaging, and maybe even inspiring. If you did, please spread the word. And if you didn't, please keep it to yourself. And if you wanna know more, have any questions, or wanna work with me, please get in touch with me on Martin Kloss dot com or on LinkedIn. Now have a great day. Go out and do something fun.